A friend and her husband often use role-play to get in the mood. At bedtime she might say to her man, “Hey Mister, you look like a guy who has a hot wife.” Then he’ll look her up and down and say, “I do have a hot wife, but she’s not as hot as you.” Then the two “strangers” go on to have a passionate night. To heighten the illusion of newness, create a sexy scenario and dress the part — a blonde wig, cowboy hat, pirate eye patch, tall boots, whatever. If it doesn’t turn you on, at least you’ll share a good laugh.

Only got a few minutes? Slip an invitation into your guy’s back pocket or dinner napkin saying, “Your presence is requested in the master bathroom from 8:35 to 8:42 p.m.” Chill little splits of champagne in the sink, light some candles, and wear nothing but high heels and clean fragrant skin under your bathrobe. When your guest arrives, he’ll be so impressed with your hostessing skills that the party will be rocking in no time — and your kids won’t even know you’ve gone.

Many North Shore couples use fantasy and erotica to get their fires burning. Making up sexy stories, reading romantic literature aloud, or watching scenes from a steamy movie arouses the imagination as well as the libido. The brain is the biggest sex organ, so why not give it some fresh material?